Monday, March 23, 2009


Still not really got hold of this bloggingness. What I mean by that is letting myself write uninhibited about the issues on my mind. Probably a trust issue me thinks. That even in an anonymous situation I'm fearful of letting people knowing what I'm really thinking. Which is odd, but probably sums me up fairly well. As much as I love to talk, and yes I can natter with people for hours and hours on end (my mum says I'm worse then a girl on the phone), I haven't ever let anyone get really really close, aka your typical best friend. Maybe that comes from a fear of becoming a bit too vulnerable to letting one person know everything about you. I know I have got a lot better over the last few years, but still know that I haven't let any one person know every side of me.

So till that day, some of my thoughts will continue to swirl around my head shared only with myself and occasionally my journal (only started that a few months back)

Hopefully that will change and I will make more leaps of trust. Only the future holds the answer to that one.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Updated update on compromise

UPDATED: Take 2 at writing this update post, with a bit more detail lol.

So the the earlier post on compromise was about my future and jobs. At that stage I possibly had the option of doing a job which I though would have allowed me to develop professionally, gain a good set of transferable skills and have an amazing experience for a year to work in a developing country helping businesses, so lots of first hand experience to aid me in my long run goal of working in development.

However the company and the particular job would be involved with interest bearing loans directly, something which i was uncomfortable about, hence was trying to figure out weather in this instance the long term end (skills acquisition and experience to work in development) outweighed the moral costs. It was never about the money, since I would have only been paid living costs, but it was about the experience for me.

I like to think fate has worked its way, so while that opportunity has gone, I do have a job for once I graduate, and still might go out there for the summer. But if I do it will be in a role I am much more comfortable about, kinda social audit function. So InshAllah thinks will continue to work out, and my original aims of an end can be fulfilled.

So hopefully this updated version makes a lot more sense then my rather more cryptic first attempt.