Monday, March 23, 2009


Still not really got hold of this bloggingness. What I mean by that is letting myself write uninhibited about the issues on my mind. Probably a trust issue me thinks. That even in an anonymous situation I'm fearful of letting people knowing what I'm really thinking. Which is odd, but probably sums me up fairly well. As much as I love to talk, and yes I can natter with people for hours and hours on end (my mum says I'm worse then a girl on the phone), I haven't ever let anyone get really really close, aka your typical best friend. Maybe that comes from a fear of becoming a bit too vulnerable to letting one person know everything about you. I know I have got a lot better over the last few years, but still know that I haven't let any one person know every side of me.

So till that day, some of my thoughts will continue to swirl around my head shared only with myself and occasionally my journal (only started that a few months back)

Hopefully that will change and I will make more leaps of trust. Only the future holds the answer to that one.


Jasmine said...

I think trust, safety and privacy are figments of the imagination. Most people, when you tell them intimate things, arent listening at all. They have too much noise in their own mind to really care or judge. The worst that could happen is that you stumble upon a gossip who will spread what you have said all around the world: however, even in this worst case scenario - all that happens is that people show their true colours to you by either facilitating the gossip, or ending it and defending you.

Letting go and opening is a beautiful thing, and even if you opened to your fullest on this blog: you are still no more than a shadow in a box - change places, names and times and you reveal nothing that syncronises your blog with you.

Sharing is beautiful, and generous: it is the only way to be close to somebody. Blogging is a good way to practice the real deal.

I would highly recommend it.

Jasmine said...

PS: You are already halfway there!
Smiles and good vibes ;0)

Mushowish said...

Very interesting way at looking at things. You are probably very right about too much noise in people's mind.

Inshallah one day I will be that close to somebody. I truly have faith that I will eventually get there. Just a matter of getting there.

and merci for the smiles and good vibes. A smile is truly a beautiful thing.