Time flys but thoughts don't change

So I came back to my blog after ages with the intention of deleting my blog. I figured there was no need to leave a trace of my personal thoughts for the world to see. Coming back made me read through my old posts and the awesome comments people had written. It was refreshing to see what I had written at the start. Some may seem cryptic to the reader( posts on compromise and career) but to me in reminded me of the conundrums I was dealing with at the time. Other posts like the one on marriage reminded what I have always thought but chosen to suppress more recently. It's interesting in how some ways I have hardly changed still struggling with the whole sharing lots with people. I should then go on to say but in others I have changed a lot, but from the bits of me I had posted about I don't think I have changed too much. The one I think hit me the most was my post on marriage , looks like I have met all the criteria younger me set about being financially and mature enough to deal with marriage, not sure my parents are quite ready though. I realised that I have for some reason put marriage off/lower on the agenda. The more I think about it the more that I want the couplyness which comes with marriage. I think this is something I have tried to suppress by throwing myself into work, and letting work and volunteering on the weekends take up all my time. Next steps ? I'm not quite sure but know that if want coupleyness of marriage I need to start making it happen, not waiting for it to happen to me, Still as random and confuse!!! Mushowish