An Unclear Path

So I've previously posted rather vague career related posts. The first was regarding a possible experience abroad with a private equity firm, which i was unsettled on for moral reasons, and the second was saying how it never happened. Although i wonder how clear the posts were in hindsight? As I alluded to in the updated post, i did get a graduate job in something completely unrelated.

So firstly I need to thank Allah(swt) for giving me a job. Especially in these tough times. It would be to easy to not be thankful for his Mercy and blessings.

I must say for a graduate job I'm very lucky, have had a variety of tasks to do, some responsibility, and now my first trip abroad. I'm being worked hard, which doesn't bother me too much (all though i don't think i could keep it up for too long). But it's the thought that i could spend my life working hard and not being able to show any real achievement at the end of that which scares me. Money comes and goes, so to measure success of a career by that is a false economy. I would like to think that I would measure success my knowing i have made a difference, to someone, in some shape or form. Idealistic maybe? who knows?

I've always feared getting sucked into the corporate vacuum. I've stayed away from finance which i was morally uneasy about. My aim to myself has been to enter the corporate world to get the right training, develop myself professionally, before trying to apply it in another field. Be it via an NGO or a socially responsible business. But 4 months in, I'm less clear then ever about how i can or should achieve my eventual aim. This is one of the many reason's I'm confused.

As i said at the start, i am thankful for having a good job, and compared to many and been blessed with many things. I think i need to appreciate that more, but i do not want to forget my end goal either. Hopefully with time the path will become clearer.

Mushowish

Updated update on compromise

UPDATED: Take 2 at writing this update post, with a bit more detail lol.

So the the earlier post on compromise was about my future and jobs. At that stage I possibly had the option of doing a job which I though would have allowed me to develop professionally, gain a good set of transferable skills and have an amazing experience for a year to work in a developing country helping businesses, so lots of first hand experience to aid me in my long run goal of working in development.

However the company and the particular job would be involved with interest bearing loans directly, something which i was uncomfortable about, hence was trying to figure out weather in this instance the long term end (skills acquisition and experience to work in development) outweighed the moral costs. It was never about the money, since I would have only been paid living costs, but it was about the experience for me.

I like to think fate has worked its way, so while that opportunity has gone, I do have a job for once I graduate, and still might go out there for the summer. But if I do it will be in a role I am much more comfortable about, kinda social audit function. So InshAllah thinks will continue to work out, and my original aims of an end can be fulfilled.

So hopefully this updated version makes a lot more sense then my rather more cryptic first attempt.

Mushowish